Feeling down? Start smiling as if you mean it. Faster than
thinking your way into a better mood, smile and move “as if” you are
happy. You are more likely to feel happier sooner – and so will the people
around you. Even botox-induced frown prevention has that mood-lifting effect.
You can evoke a similar "as if” effect when you want someone
near you to open up, discovered Mark Goulston. Get that person to:
1. Look directly at you.
2. Uncross their arms. in front of you.
“How do you get them to do that?” wrote Goulston in Just Listen.
Ask them questions that will elicit an emotional charge. Ask him, for example, to explain one of the biggest fears or opportunities he
faces.
Words will not be sufficient to convey the intensity of his emotion. He will feel compelled
to gesture with his hands and arms.
When people gesture, Dr. Goulston found that “they have opened
themselves up to you. The important thing now is to build on the sense of
importance and urgency with questions such as:
• ‘What will happen if you seize that opportunity?’
• ‘What will happen if you miss out on it?’”
Want more? You may enjoy these related posts:
1. Do people stop listening before you stop speaking?
2. When Worry is Worthless, When Fear is a Friend
3. How You Prove Yourself Right
4. More About Dissolving Conflict, Part Two of Two
5. Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid
6. Passive Men and Wild, Wild Women (How Stop Fighting)
By the way, March is International Listening Awareness Month, as if we needed that nudge to hone our capacity and willingness to listen.
