Does it feel like people stop listening before we stop talking? Feel under-appreciated?
What makes us feel known, understood and grow closer with
others? First we must feel heard. Mark Goulston describes exactly how in Just
Listen
– the best book I’ve read on the topic.
If he can help FBI agents talk down hijackers and stop those intent on
committing suicide then his methods might help you.
An added benefit to listening deeply?
When you connect with someone you are more likely to be able to correct problems and resolve conflict before perceptions harden.
Why? We are more likely to bring up what bothers us when we
think we’ll be heard.
“Just because nobody
complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.” ~Benny
Hill
Next what do we say to evoke interest and involvement? In this interview with Bonnie Marcus, hear some of the methods I’ve discovered and try, with uneven success, to follow in my life. What are some of the ways you’ve found to connect with others?
