Say it Better

Pull 'Em in With a Pertinent, Emotional Picture Story

 “The most beautiful thing I've ever seen was the image on a screen that helped our doctor see my wife's cancer was treatable." 

See the story leading up to this grabber of a punch line in GE’s ad for electronic medical records. 

Notice how the husband's emotion-held-in-check voice reinforces the mood of the story. 

Next time I try to get someone interested in my idea I'm going to recall the swift, sequence of events-as-photos that built up to this emotional and relevant main point and consider how I can cut away extraneous detail and evoke more than one emotion. 

  

For more ideas on swift storytelling in images see these. They evoke several emotions from heart-warming to surprise and light humor.  I’d be proud to have created them and hope to emulate their "no extra detail" approach to pulling others in and holding attention.

(I have no financial interest in the company)

Become Quotable by Comparison

 “It's like saying we're going to make some improvements in the Titanic after it's hit the iceberg," said mortgage finance expert Guy Cecala today in characterizing the futility of government attempts to fix the current home mortgage finance system rather than, as Paul Volcker suggested, “reconstruct” it.  

What dramatic, apt comparison can you offer to make your characterization:

1.    Stand out from others?

2.    Be the most frequently repeated?

3.    Establish the criteria by which others decide on that topic?

 Tips to creating a credible, quotable comparison

A. Compare your point of view to something or someone familiar. 

Examples:

A Cuban, after apologizing because he could not offer his guests anything to eat, described the results of Castro’s Revolution: “ The three successes were education, healthcare and sports. Three failures were breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

“I call architecture frozen music.” ~ Johann Wolfgag von Goethe

B. Evoke a vivid, mental picture.

 Example: 

“Ten times as much funding is devoted to research on the prevention of male baldness as malaria, a disease that kills more than 1 million people each year.” ~ Bill Gates on the need for creative capitalism to serve more people.

C. Say it briefly so it can be easily remembered and repeated as you said it.

Example:

“We can bail out the economy – we cannot bail out the environment.” ~ John Doerr, partner, Kleiner, Perkins Caufield & Byers

D.  Make it aspirational – compared to something they’d want to gain – or avoid. 

Examples:

 ”Jenny Kruger finds out that even the finest four-star restaurant is no match for one with 4 million stars." ~ REI advertisement

What are some of your favorite characterizations?

I can’t help but end with two inadvertently humorous characterizations of situations. While others probably repeated what they said, it is probably to their chagrin.

1. “Those who are not imprisoned are often arrested for possession of small quantities of drugs and later released — in some cases with a permanent stain on their records that can make it difficult to get a job or start a young person on a path to future arrests,” ~ An unnamed prison reform advocate.

2. "The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out." ~ Marcia Neal, candidate for the state Board of Education and a retired schoolteacher.

Facing the Unspeakable to Find Your Way

It wasn’t until third grade that my friend Denise told me her mother put her in the hall closet when she asked questions.  In fact, she was pushed in even when she talked to her doll.

One day my mother called me in my college dorm to tell me that Denise had jumped off the Sellwood Bridge.

 Denise’s earnest face popped in my mind when I read about the silent treament in David Small’s childhood home.   

Father followed dinner with punching bag sessions in the basement. Brother played drums – and taunted him. Mother spoke with "the slamming of kitchen cupboard doors.” 

It gets worse, much worse yet, with a radiologist father’s actions that leave Dave mute, yet there’s redemption in his engrossing book, Stitches A Memoir and it begins with a psychiatrist who does speak to him and speaks the truth.    

Some pages are laugh out loud funny.

 Ironically, Small became a children's book illustrator.

Unlike many others, I am not a fan of the graphic novel format yet it is apt in sharing this story that will probably cause you, too, to want to meet Dave.

One hard-learned yet worthwhile life lesson: 

Don’t let somebody else determine your behavior – or your life.

Apologizing Properly: Is There Enough Mea in Your Culpa?

 Last year U.S. Senator George Allen went serially apologizing across Virginia after demeaning a man of Indian descent at a campaign rally as “Macaca or whatever his name is.” Up popped a virtual cartoon bubble caption over his head -  “racist.” By continuing to exhibit the same lack of understanding about his mistake each time he apologized, that caption worsened, from “racist” to “bumbling politician” to “bumbling politician who does not learn.” 

He did not mean harm but he did harm his reputation by not learning the lesson on how to say,

”I was wrong. 

This is why.

This what I am going to do about it.”

 Even a TV soap opera couldn’t match recent real life lessons on the need to learn when and how to apologize. For most situations you and I will face there are proper ways to apologize that often evoke respect and sometimes bring people closer. Doctors are learning, for example that it pays to apologize– even if it is difficult to do.  Here are four tips that have helped me.  

1. Don’t beg. Do prove you mean you are sorry.

No excuses. No delay. And forget groveling.   

It doesn’t show your best side nor bring out the best in those from whom you want forgiveness. In debasing yourself you inadvertently evoke a righteous attack instinct in others who’ll then pile on their complaints.    

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse." ~Kimberly Johnson

2. Put Enough Mea in Your Culpa