Say it Better

Is He Lying When He Won’t Look You in the Eye?

Remarkably people in 75 countries believe the top way you can spot a liar is that the person won’t look you in the eye. Contrary to common belief, that’s not true. You are more likely to be able to detect lying by looking at the whole face.  People avert their gaze in conversation for many reasons, most of them innocent, according to social psychologist expert Dr. Mark Frank.

Ignore some of the myths detecting lying such as “shifty eyes or sweaty brow” and look for the “cracking” of an expression to briefly display the underlying or true emotion that “leaks” onto the face.”

One of the most common is a micro-expression or “cracking.” That’s when someone is expressing sadness for something then, when pressed, displays a flash of the true, underlying emotions: anger and disgust.  That is how he really feels about the situation.

Both Paul Ekman (as described in Blink) and Stephen Porter have cited this behavior as an indication of deceit.  Unfortunately one must practice looking for those brief moments. 

Unlike Ekman and Porter we cannot video the moments in our life to review, frame-by-frame, yet we can be trained to better recognize those flashes of hot emotion someone is attempting to hide. “Ekman reckons your accuracy in detecting an attempt at deception ‘will increase from chance to 70% or better’".  

Yet, “the best liars tend to be the least troubled by their dissembling and produce the fewest outward clues," acknowledges Ekman.  There are times I’ve wished that I could have had a thermal-imaging or other detection device handy.

Ending on an up note regarding reading faces, your smile helps your mood.  It also uplifts those around you and the people with whom they come into contact. Emotion is contagious up to three degrees of separation.

How to Learn Faster and Remember More

It’s sunny outside yet you’re stuck studying. You must know this stuff for tomorrow.  It gets worse. Your smart aleck friend walks by saying “You know you’ll only remember ten percent of what you’re reading right now.”   She’s citing an oft-repeated study that shows that, six weeks later, you’ll only remember four percent of what you are passively learning by reading.  

Yet that familiar study has been debunked. Or rather there never was a study that showed people remember:

10% of what they read

20% of what they hear

30% of what they see

50% of what they see and hear

70% of what they write and say

90% of what they say as they do something with the information

 “People do NOT remember 10% of what they read, 20% of what they see, 30% of what they hear, etc.,” learning expert, Will Thalheimer emphatically explains.

So the percentages aren’t proven yet the levels for accelerating learning are. You do learn faster and remember more when you move from passive to active, meaningful, repeated engagement in what you are learning.

Your Useable insight

You’ll learn more and remember it longer when you:

• Actively and repeatedly practice what you are learning, as you are learning it, and when you continuously relate it to something concrete that matters to you. 

• Teach others what we are learning.

So, skip the percentages and speed your learning by adopting the methods described in Dale's Cone of Experience.  After learning this it may be helpful to sleep on it.    

Warped humor from a pharmaceutical firm?

See this ad for a medicine to sooth aching muscles.  

The farm woman believes goat tears are “nature’s pain remedy.” 

Yet she must get the goat to cry. Trust me the dry humor in the ad is funnier than my dry description - and please forgive the pun. 

Create a Sign for Your Business Place That Makes People Smile

...and reflects what your business or non-profit does. In San Francisco, for example, there is this sign in the window of the Lighthouse for the Blind:  "Yes, we're the blind leading the blind." 

And Andy Sernovitz found a sign that pulled more people into a store.  What sign has stopped you in your tracks while you were walking or driving by?

Funny Signs of Life

What do people put on a sign when they want attention? Over at Huffington Post see “Funniest Protest Signs.”  

Of course many reflect a warped sense of humor – some perhaps even intentionally.  Now others have submitted their favorites and are voting on them. 

Join in?

Here’s some of mine to lighten your day...

• Obama has a crisis of competnce!

• Latinos for the metric system.

• OBAMA BRING BACK ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

• My two moms can beat up your 14 wives.

• elizabeth taylor had 8 husbands. my brother just wants one.

Speaking for myself, one of the most helpful signs is for pedestrians and you see it when you stop at many corners (in life): walk with the light.

Short Film on How to Say it Better

This may be your fastest (and gently heart-tugging) way to experience the power of how you say it better. 

Make your message personal so that they can’t help but feel and respond to it. 

In an increasingly connected world one of the greatest wonders is that your idea or characterization of a situation can influence more people than a million dollar campaign – if it is more compelling.  

The added bonus is when you inspire others to join you with their contributions. Thank you Michele Miller and Jeffrey Eisenberg for passing it along to me.