Lucy asks Charlie Brown, in that classic cartoon, Peanuts, "Why do you think we were put on earth?"
Charlie answers, "To make others happy."
Lucy replies, "I don’t think I’m making anyone happy," replies Lucy. She then adds, "but nobody’s making me very happy either. Somebody’s not doing his job!"
People tend to like people who like them.
Want to feel happier? Do all that you can to bring out the best side in each person who encounters you. Try it for just one day. How can someone demonstrate her best talent or temperament around you? This is most difficult for me when I am around the people who are most familiar to me. Loved ones. Long-time colleagues. We have fallen into habits of how we treat each other.
Do not let somebody else determine your behavior.
Altering the set scripts of how we act and talk takes considerable effort. I know. I decided to dedicate just one day to bring out out others’ better side in each encounter. I flubbed up within two hours. Got cranky when someone was short with me. Made it worse, not better as I escalated the bad feelings between us.
Behavioral research shows we are more likely to spiral down faster into conflict than up into mutual good feeling and behavior. That is, we react more rapidly, intensely and for a longer time to what we do not like that to what we do. The primitive part of the brain leaps into action with the “fight or flight” instinct that once helped us survive yet now leads us to squabbling or worse.
To have a happier life, hone your most crucial life skills. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable, recognize and use your strengths, become more adept at detecting deception, influence others, become more optimistic, make smarter choices and, last but not least, become more likeable.
Tip: Don’t let somebody else determine your behavior
