Say it Better

Anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow or….?

I first heard this parable when I was in Europe. More recently it has popped up in over 700 places on the Internet, from Dotsie’s NABBW to ExtraMiler and Dally Kos. Guess it resonates again today.

"One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "Dear boy, the battle is between the two 'wolves' that exist inside us all.

One is Evil.
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good.
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee replied,
"The one you feed."

Tragedy. Up Close and Personal.

Personal for my family and me because my nephew Jonathan is a student at Virginia Tech.

Personal for a legion of people in new ways, because of access to the Internet.

“It’s one thing to hear a list of names on TV, or read them online” The West Virginia Blogger writes yet it is much more personal to see the MySpace pages of those who were killed at Virginia Tech. First-hand images of their daily joys, their dreams, their plans for the future.

We can get to know them in palpable ways that would not have been possible just a couple of years ago.

Reaction was swift from people at ground zero, at the “invent the future” university and among college students and alumnae everywhere, organizing visceral, raw and thoughtful memories and sharing at MySpace, Facebook (over 500 groups popped up for VT) and, of course, YouTube – the de facto “CNN” media site now to find out what’s really going on in near real time – without the distancing gloss of high production values and “tell us how to feel” anchors on broadcast television.

"Thanks to the portability and speed of today's technology, the students' shots are likely to become some of the ‘defining images’ of the tragedy” according to Pew Internet & American Life Project’s Amanda Lenhart.

We are almost accustomed to getting more photos and first-hand news from other people faster than TV and radio can cover it – thus shaping what gets covered now and how.

Viral coverage is the norm now for certain stories that catch the attention of “we the people” with reporting reputations of citizen witnesses and commentators shifting more swiftly as their coverage can be confirmed or challenged by others.

As more people have access to mobile phones and the Internet, the unfolding story will only speed up, spreading faster, with swifter feedback loops to refute and refine what "we" are "covering" about what's happening.

How will that affect our in-the-moment emotions and decisionmaking?

The Non-Imus way

…. of playing the dozens, long ago ...:

"On April 12, 1777, Henry Clay was born in Hanover County, Virginia. He was never formally educated, but was admitted to the bar at age 20 after a period of intense self-study. He moved to Kentucky to practice law and soon entered the political arena. In history, he is remembered as "The Great Compromiser" (his most famous being the Missouri Compromise, which admitted Missouri as a slave state and Maine as a free state).

.... While serving in Congress, a friendly rivalry developed between Clay of Kentucky and Daniel Webster of Massachusetts. One day, as the two men were sitting in front of a Washington hotel, a man driving a pack of mules passed by. Webster, the quintessential Yankee, decided to engage in a little badinage with his Southern colleague.

He said, "Clay, there goes a number of your Kentucky constituents." Clay examined the scene for a moment and then replied:

"They must be going up to Massachusetts to teach school."

Thank you Dr. Marty Grothe for this.

Noted Grothe in his last newsletter,"Sometimes I wonder which is worse-- confrontational people who are afraid of caring or caring people who are afraid of confrontation."

Do you have pithy insight people will buy? If so, then Ian Griffith describes a new way to help you sell them.

Springwise picked up

my tip on the new site where women can get free products in exchange for giving their candid feedback: SheSpeaks.

Check out this fun trendspotting site that covers the globe, with the aid of savvy spotters like you.

Here's one of my recent favorites.

Since "giving activates the same brain centers as sex …

drugs, food and greed,” according to Kevin Jones at Xigi.net, why not get a natural high right now, giving in a painless way at FreePledge?

Then take a look at the Greater Good magazine that, “highlights ground breaking scientific research into the roots of altruistic human relationships, and fuses this research with inspiring stories of compassion in action.”

Keep an eye out for the much anticipated launch of Project Agape - a site that will leverage your clout in giving to causes – build on your sense of guilt and pride.

Meanwhile, check out some well-run social enterprises that do good as they make money: Juma Ventures, KaBoom, zaadz, Ideal Bite, Longfellow Clubs, Hinda Incentives and LaborFair.

Friends vs. Contacts

Whilst we may have big “networks” of contacts – aka acquaintances - we tend to have "a very small number of friends" – according to a survey by professor Ray Pahl. He’ll elaborate in his forthcoming book "Rethinking Friendship: Hidden Solidarities Today." Pahl found that, on average, we have “just” 18 friends. 18 true friends?

That sounds might bountiful to me.

It is interesting to hear more about what constitutes genuine friendship in Pahl’s view. Here he and his co-author, Liz Spencer discuss why they believe friendship is especially important today.

They are more optimistic than Robert Putnam was in Bowling Alone. In fact, "The death of solidarity in Britain has been greatly exaggerated. Most of us live in solid, long-standing "micro-social" communities."

And in the U.S. and elsewhere?

Even Grandma Can Now Create a Web Site

Maybe even me. As I visit my favorite mix of social networks, blogs and web sites I sometimes wish that I, the non-geek, could create my own site in a super easy way. Where I didn’t have to crack a Dummies how-to book or online tutorial - or hire someone.

I also enjoy looking longingly at the original designs and user-friendly functions of sites like StyleHive, Evite, Ideal Bite or zaadz.

Well, with a new service launching May 1st, the results of my - or your web design may not be as elegant or even as user-friendly  - but they can be totally our original creation.

Your personalized webpage.

I’m talking about Zude. It promises to let us wannabe designers create our own multi-media web site in a super easy drag and drop way.

One Zube fan, Adam Ostrow over at mashable reports that Zude CEO Jim McNeil “believes everyone from MySpace addicts to grandmas, "from absolute beginniners to ultimate hackers" can create a web page, for virtually any purpose.”

See why David Berlind calls it, “the Switzerland of the social Web.”

You can start with a blank web page, then move text, photos, video   “even an entire Web page” from other parts of the web onto your Zude page. Then you can rearrange the parts or change their size.  You can do this all for free and accept advertising on your site or skip the ads by paying an annual fee of just $25.

I can see a group of friends gathered for a backyard barbeque here in Sausalito, with a wireless computer sitting safely just inside the back door. My goddaughter, Cynthia, a high schooler might wander over and start our Zude page with photos of her girlfriends horseback riding and studying together. Then her mother might add her own favorites from travel sites. My friend, Bart, the social media guru might adeptly re-mix some of his own photos from other sites. 

Who knows what the 12 of us will come up with after a relaxing afternoon of hamburgers, Napa wine, remixed music  - and remixed media on “our” new site – a keepsake of the time together.

After all, it’s free or just the cost of one moderately good bottle of cabernet to keep it advertising free.

After viewing Zube, Ostrow thinks it may enable you to do more than similar-sounding services from Netvibes, Vox, PageFlakes and a few others.

“Have a burning desire to

know which state is the richest or whitest or has the biggest lesbian population?" asks VSL.

Then find out now at Social Explorer. It was voted most compelling Website last month by the subscribers to VLS (Very Short List). Some consider it world changing.

New Community for Women

who love to read, set up by Hyperion Books. It is called Every Woman's Voice. My book group is using one of the reading group guides.

Interested in the wider world? See The Women's Intercultural Book Groups Program, run by Global Connections.

Want to start a book group? Get Good Books Lately. For me, it has been a fascinating, fun way to cultivate lively conversation and deepen friendships.

Forget the words to that song?

Here’s the best place I’ve discovered (thanks to Shirl Kennedy) to find those lyrics without facing the noise of massive advertising on the pages.

It is called LyricWiki. It already has over 200,000 songs.
ResourceShelf’s Kennedy gives it high praise:
“Contributors worldwide are welcome. Users are asked to keep an eye out for typos, vandalism, etc. While monetary donations are accepted, it basically runs as a free service via the generosity of MotiveForce LLC, a software company. There are a few unobtrusive text ads, but that is pretty much it as far as commercialism goes here ….

Navigation is super-easy. You can browse for lyrics by artist, album, song title, genre, hometown, label, or language. (The site is also available in French, German, Japanese, Spanish, and Swedish.) Or you can use the simple text search engine, which offers interesting possibilities -- e.g., I found 16 songs that contain the word 'woodpecker' in their lyrics.”

Lifehacker loves it too yet LibrarianInBlack has minor complaints yet it has been adopted by several at last.fm. I'll ask what the Canadian librarians think about it next month.