Say it Better

How to Help Your Critic’s Argument Sway Others

Arnold Schwarzenegger violated a cardinal rule of persuasion. 

Never disagree or respond to an accusation by vividly characterizing the bad thing you are protesting or otherwise countering.  

That reaction just sticks the bright, negative image in people’s minds.  The oft-cited example of this truth is, “No I don’t beat my wife."

California’s state budget and economy are cratering. This week The Guardian even dubbed California a “failed state.” 

What did (usually media savvy) Schwarzenegger say in response to critics? "There is people [sic] that sometimes suggest that the American Dream, or the Californian dream, is evaporating. I think it's absolutely wrong. I think the Californian dream is as strong as ever."

The most specific and thus the most vivid word picture in his statement is “evaporating.”  “Wrong” and “strong” are generalizations. 

The specific proves the general but not the reverse.  Specifics are more credible and memorable.  

The bank, for example, that advertises, "We are the people who care" will not be as credible nor memorable as the bank that announces, "We are now open Saturdays for your convenience."

When you want people to remember and repeat what you say, use a specific word picture, contrasting scenarios or other comparisons or concrete offer, deadline or other action.

Warped humor from a pharmaceutical firm?

See this ad for a medicine to sooth aching muscles.  

The farm woman believes goat tears are “nature’s pain remedy.” 

Yet she must get the goat to cry. Trust me the dry humor in the ad is funnier than my dry description - and please forgive the pun. 

The Unfolding Conversation That Captured a City’s Attention, And You Can Too

When a fancy waterfront restaurant was opening soon in Buffalo, the smaller, nearby, homegrown restaurants, including Garcia’s got worried. For just $20,000 Garcia’s hired a scrappy ad agency to create a campaign around which everyone was sworn to secrecy. It got the town talking, won an Obie and, on a momentous day, pulled an eager crowd to their restaurant.  Perhaps you, too, can pull customers into your place of business, using the same penny-pinching, conversation-based and conversation-provoking campaign elements…..

Design your campaign to be:

Specific

Begin with a specific, situation-based question, directed - not at the masses – but to a person, thus involving us.

Brief

Use few words so that:

• You have honed down to your simple, core story, making every word count. 

• The message (typeface) can be large and easy to read

• More people will pay attention to a “quick read.”

 

Emotional

Tap into a universally-felt emotion via a familiar situation feeling. In this case, love and courtship.

 

Personal

Craft lines of conversation (rather than ad copy) from distinctly different personalities to:

• Evoke a voyeuristic sense of eavesdropping is extremely hard to resist.

• Make us feel we’re a part of a real, unfolding story.

 

Mysterious

Don’t give too many details at a time so they can fill the rest in from their memories and imagination – and want more.

 

Build-up

By releasing a detail at a time over time (whether on a billboard, email or online) you heighten anticipation – just like the classic Burma Shave billboard campaigns.

 

Suspense

May them want to see how the story ends.

Us

Give them a way to participate – and bring friends to share the experience.

Thank you Drew McLellan for discovering this story and describing it so well. I can see why all those companies seek your advice.

By the way, you could use the same elements to involve attendees in the multi-sensory moments of the unfolding story of your conference or other event.

How a Fertilizer and a Snack Stand Out - And You Can Too

Want to sell or secure support? You’ve got less than a minute, experts say. Much less it turns out. With the first three to five words, listeners instinctively tune in or tune out.

To compound the problem, you may know too much.  The deeper your expertise, the less able you are to offer the vivid detail up front that motivates them to listen longer.

Instead we start with background, qualifiers and other “underbrush.”  Meanwhile they go on a mental vacation.

To make your idea or product stick in their minds, here are two tips and examples that have helped me:

Two tips

1. Hot Button: First offer the point that most matters to this listener

Craft the sequence of words in your first sentence like a string of pearls, with each word solidly connected to the next. That way you build the briefest, “most valuable benefit” statement. Add supportive points if:

• They relate to the main point, and

• Can be said in three words or less.

2. Memory Anchor: Say it so they can see it

Offer the vivid, supporting detail that evokes a relevant and positive mental picture and thus anchors the benefit in their mind.

Two examples

1. Hot Button:

The natural fertilizer that outgrows the leading synthetic fertilizer, doesn’t burn plants and comes in recycled packaging.

Memory Anchor:

Terracycle's fertilizer is made from worm poop.

 

2. Hot Button:

Because they are made of dried fruits and nuts bound together by honey KIND bars are healthier than other health bars. We use whole natural ingredients  - not paste.

 Memory Anchors:

• Mango Macadamia is a favorite.

•  A Yale pilot study found that eating two KIND bars a day can help people lose weight.

Your Pitch: You've Got a Minute to Pull Then in and Persuade Them

The best way to craft your elevator pitch is to watch several good ones. See Jeff Novich’s compelling, concise minute on his start-up, VocabSushi. Notice how he dives right in with a warm, non-pushy facial expression face “plain language” description. No extra words. 

Then, visiting the web site, see how quickly you can grasp the service and sign up for a free test drive. Like Jeff’s pitch, it pulls you in.

From How to Win a Pitch author, Joe Asher here’s five ‘fundamentals” for giving the pitch that persuades – even inspires others to remember and repeat to others.

1. Present a solution and nothing else. Your prospect wants to know only how you can help them. Be specific.  How has it helped others?

2. Keep it simple. Have a central point and no more than three supporting points with meaningful segues.

3. Speak with passion and confidence. When you feel it they will too.

4. Leave half of your time for questions. That way they can be in charge and you can see their hot buttons, level of knowledge and what most interests them.

5. Rehearse.  Practice so much that it seems second nature.  Conversational. 

Offer Loyalty Cards in the Way That's Most Likely to Lure Customers Back

At a car wash or coffee shop you’ve probably been offered a loyalty card. Since it’s one of the lowest-cost ways to lure customers back, consider offering them to yours - in the way that maximizes profits.

Here’s how. Now we’re talking about the kind of loyalty card that's inexpensive to make so independent business owners can offer them. Not the laminated corporate cards. You can print elegantly-designed cards that get stamped or hole-punched each time a customer buys from you.

Why is this method appearing in the Say it Better blog? Because how you “say it” in your card offer influences how motivated they are to return and use it.

Key insight on human behavior:
We are more likely to want to fill up our card to get something for free - if we believe we have already made progress towards our reward.

Background:
In a study, loyalty cards were handed out to three hundred customers of a car wash. Customers were informed that every time they bought a car wash, their loyalty card would be stamped. Cards were offered in two way. One motivated more customers to return.

• One type of card stated that eight stamps were required to receive a free car wash, and no stamps were attached to the card.

• The other kind of card stated that ten stamps were required to receive the free wash, but two stamps were already affixed to the card.

• Both cards required eight purchases to receive the award, but the second group seemed well on its way to completing the card with 20% of the stamps needed for the free wash.

Conclusion: It's more profitable to give people a ten stamp card with two stamps already marked off, instead of an eight stamp card with nothing marked off.

Hint: How can you encourage customers to want to buy again or buy more or refer others because they are already "well on their way" towards that future, free reward?

See other ways to influence behavior - or to be aware that you are being influenced.

Way to Inspire Your Clients to Refer Others to You

Want short-cuts for turning happy clients into avid fans who refer colleagues to you? Read Robert Middleton's blog, then read the InfoGuru Marketing Manual. In practical, pithy language, he puts into practice some of the persuasion methods described in Robert Cialdini's classic book, Influence, and reinforced in his new book, with Noah J. Goldstein and Steve J. Martin, Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive.

People Like People Who Are Like Them
For example, today he describes a non-hardsell way to attract warmed-up prospects through how you relate to your current clients. It's The Law of Relatedness, an extension of Social Proof. If your clients tell colleagues about why they like your service, they are especially credible if the situation they describe (problem or opportunity) is one that their colleagues also face. In short, they can relate to the situation and are drawn to the solution you provided. Writes Middleton, "The more connection we feel to someone, to their story, their situation, to their problem, the more relatedness, the more effective the persuasion." On his blog read an elaboration of his five tips to growing your business by evoking Law of Relatedness:

1. Make sure your testimonials are directly related to the concerns of your prospects.

2. When you write articles, either for publication in your eZine or newsletter, include case studies that prove your point.

3. Have your clients interviewed and recorded. Use that recording as an "audio testimonial" to post on your web site or to forward to a potential client.

4. If you do an introductory event or teleclass, invite successful clients or customers to be at the event or on the call with you.

5. When you post testimonials or case studies on your web site, include pictures of your clients.

He asked readers for examples of how they put this law into practice and I responded with a method I use when speaking on SmartPartnering at conferences. See my idea in his comments section at the end of his post. Joe Hage at biznik has some great ideas on how to use Cialdini's methods to make your seminar or other event a success. Also see Helping People Decide to Change.

What Happens When People Can See You Speak

... and More Than 3.8 Million Do?

As of today, that's how many YouTube viewers have watched Barack Obama's much-discussed speech on race relations. Four million saw him give the speech live.

Images, real€ or modified, can change the power equation in a presidential campaign. They can also alter how people perceive you. Elections, career advancement, perceived choices, personal and product reputations - all can be altered faster and more widely than any time in our past.

Motion Pictures Move Us More Than "Just" Words, Research Shows.

Free, widely available and easy access to video scenes sets emotionally-charged opinions in motion more than "€œjust"€ the words we Twitter, text message, email or write for the Internet. Whether it is video clips of Rev. Jeremiah Wright's radical sermons or "misstatements" by Senator Clinton about ducking sniper shots in Bosnia, long ago or recent pasts can come back to haunt one, and not just individuals who know they are in the public eye. Hint: make sure the people you involve in acts of support do, in fact, support you.

What to Do When You A€™re Behind the Eight Ball.

There'€™s a tip in negotiations that, if you feel you are not getting your fair share of the pie, make a bigger pie. That can be done by involving more people in the negotiation and gaining their support before your opponents reach them - or even know that they are now involved. Obama has benefited from this several times in this presidential campaign as many apolitical and/or "€œundecideds" €have gone online and watched the speeches, interviews, informational interactions with crowds and the spoofs and fan and opponent-created mash-ups of real video to distort a situation or personality. Hint: inspiration, celebrities, parody, quirkiness and other humor attract crowds.

We have unavoidable transparency in more of our companies, countries and personal conduct. That'€™s not news to you, I a€™m sure. Yet I continue to be in awe of the gathering speed with which technology is enabling someone, even with no money or constituency, (but with a captivating scene or message) can race to the top of our collective minds.

Get Reputation Insurance for Yourself.

Be proactive. You can't stop people from talking about you, but you can increase the chances of discovering what they say sooner. Don't just look once but check regularly for what people are saying about you, your organization and the people who most matter to you. Check several places, using at least google and google images and clusty. Set up google alerts to automatically get news when the people and organization that affect your life are mentioned on line. Now this seems obvious to many of you, I a€™m sure, yet I spoke at two conferences this year where attendees were well-educated and the median income was at least $150,000 - yet only a small minority of people were aware of these basics in reputation protection. Where else do you check?

“A toddler is primitive, an emotion-driven

… instinctive creature that has yet to develop the thinking skills that define modern humans,” warns Dr. Harvey Karp. That’s why parents shouldn’t attempt to reason with them in the face of inevitable tantrums and worse. Toddlers haven’t developed an ability to think so parents are dealing with “a caveman in a crib concludes this pediatrics professor and author of the wildly popular book, The Happiest Baby on the Block.

What should you do? In Tara Parker-Pope’s article about Karp’s new book,The Happiest Toddler on the Block, we learn that calming a toddler, “involves bringing yourself, both mentally and physically, down to a child’s level when he or she is upset. The goal is not to give in to a child’s demands, but to communicate in a child’s own language of “toddler-ese.’”

I shared this news with a parent of a toddler, an entrepreneur I was coaching through his problems with a strong-willed business partner. He responded to Karp’s approach by saying, “Sounds like smart advice for handling my partner tomorrow.”

Maybe he can just play soothing sounds while they meet.(This is my version of dry humor for today.)

How We Vote Gives Clues to How We Make Choices …

… in other vital situations I believe. How do we choose our friends, committee and jury chairs, organizational affiliations and “right” position on moral or financial decisions?

Compare, for example, the vast different in how Caroline Kennedy and The New York Times defined the vital “issues” (or criteria) for choosing who to endorse for president.

What matters most? Policy stances (NYT) or character /quality of leadership (Kennedy)?

Linguist, George Lakeoff writes in The Huffington Post that “The difference is striking. To the editors of the New York Times, the quality of leadership seems not to be an ‘issue.’ The ability to unite the country is not an "issue."

What Obama calls the empathy deficit -- attunement to the experience and needs of real people -- is not an ‘issue.’ Honesty is not an ‘issue.’ Trust is not an ‘issue.’ Moral judgment is not an ‘issue."

Values are not ‘issues.’ Adherence to democratic ideals -- rather than political positioning, triangulation, and incrementalism -- are not ‘issues.’ Inspiration, a call to a higher purpose, and a transcendence of interest-based politics.”

Lakeoff notes that Ronald Reagan's chief strategist, Richard Wirthlin, realized that, “most voters do not vote primarily on the basis of policies, but rather on
1. Values
2. Connection,
3. Authenticity
4. Trust
5. Identity

… Reagan spoke about his values, and policies for him just exemplified values. He connected viscerally with people. He was perceived as authentic, as really believing what he said.”

In a similar spirit, Caroline Kennedy wrote, "Most of us would prefer to base our voting decision on policy differences. However, the candidates' goals are similar. They have all laid out detailed plans on everything from strengthening our middle class to investing in early childhood education. So qualities of leadership, character and judgment play a larger role than usual.

I want a president who understands that his responsibility is to articulate a vision and encourage others to achieve it; who holds himself, and those around him, to the highest ethical standards; who appeals to the hopes of those who still believe in the American Dream, and those around the world who still believe in the American ideal; and who can lift our spirits, and make us believe again that our country needs every one of us to get involved."

How do you make major choices in your life about who or what you will support?

• For insights into how to frame a situation to influence or to decide, read Lakoff’s Don't Think of an Elephant. Even though it is oriented towards politics the methods work for other situations.

• For more on “how to guard yourself against the faulty reasoning” read the uber-rational, sometimes arrogant-sounding yet often humorous book by Jamie Whyte, Crimes Against Logic.

• My favorite book on how to make better choices is Smart Choices by my mentor, Howard Raiffa and John S. Hammond.

• And, to avoid getting bogged down when there appears to be too many choices read Barry Schwartz’s fascinating and practical Paradox of Choice.